Turn the Page

Me: *playing Tomb Raider*

Grandmother who is visiting for the weekend: Mind if I sit with you?

Me: *squirming slightly because there is gore and swearing in this game and my grandmother is a sweet old lady: Um, if you want to.

Grandmother: *sits* Thank you, dear.

Me: *continuing to play for about five minutes*

Grandmother:

Grandmother:

Grandmother: LOOK OUT THERE ARE THREE COMING DOWN THE HILL

Grandmother: THAT WAS POINT BLANK HOW ARE THEY ALIVE

Grandmother: OOOHH YOU MADE THAT EXPLODE

Grandmother: STOP KILLING MY GRANDDAUGHTER

Grandmother: KILL THEM KILL THEM ALL

Grandmother: OHHHHH YOU SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD OHHHHHHHHH

Grandmother: RUN RUN RUN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE RUN

Grandmother: OKAY NOW KILL THEM ALL

Me: *slowly turns to look at her* Grandma

Grandmother: *sweet smile* Hmm?

Me: Grandma oh my god

Grandmother: *more smiling* Well, hurry up and kill everyone else, I want to see you save this Sam person.

Me:

Me:

Grandmother: Kill them.

bookmania:

Karren Renz Seña's first fiction novel, The Lost Chronicles of Eden: Champions, hits bookshops this season! 

In war, Heroes are made, Legends are born, Champions will rise. A novel of adventure, faith, desire, and power. Engaging each character into torrents of Battles, making them Heroes and becoming Legends of their generation. ”A gripping story of heroism, sacrifice, friendship and love that spans all Worlds—visible and invisible. A grand tale that showcases the never-ending battle between good and evil, monsters and men, the Wicked and the Favored.”

For further information, visit www.kerygmabooks.com or call Shepherd’s Voice Publications Office: +63 (02) 725-9999

bookmania:

Karren Renz Seña's first fiction novel, The Lost Chronicles of Eden: Champions, hits bookshops this season! 

In war, Heroes are made, Legends are born, Champions will rise. A novel of adventure, faith, desire, and power. Engaging each character into torrents of Battles, making them Heroes and becoming Legends of their generation.

 ”A gripping story of heroism, sacrifice, friendship and love that spans all Worlds—visible and invisible. A grand tale that showcases the never-ending battle between good and evil, monsters and men, the Wicked and the Favored.”

For further information, visit www.kerygmabooks.com or call Shepherd’s Voice Publications Office: +63 (02) 725-9999

Writing introductions

I’ve been asked to write an introduction for myself for this week’s newspaper in Unity.  Which makes sense because I’m the new guy in town.  But I’m having a difficult time deciding if it should be sincere, filled with snark, or a combination of the two.

A series of puns
  • I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
  • 
When chemists die, they barium.
  • Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
  • A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid He says he can stop any time.
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
  • I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  • They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
  • 
This dyslexic man walks into a bra.
  • PMS jokes aren’t funny, period.
  • I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
  • A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  • What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
  • I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
  • Broken pencils are pointless.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  • England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
  • I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
  • I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
  • All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
  • I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
  • Velcro - what a rip off!
  • Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
It’s only an iPod shuffle, but good enough for what I need.

It’s only an iPod shuffle, but good enough for what I need.

Sun’s starting to come up outside.  Also, I found my iPod, so I’ll have tunes on my walk to work.

Sun’s starting to come up outside.  Also, I found my iPod, so I’ll have tunes on my walk to work.

“You can bury me on Deadwood Mountain
By my brother Wild Bill and sister Calamity Jane
Don’t bring me no flowers
Just a six gun smokin
Put me eight feet down
When you bury me
Put me eight feet down
When you bury me”
— Big & Rich, Deadwood Mountain, from the album Horse of a Different Color, 2004

Song number three that was going through my head this morning.

(Source: youtube.com)

Song number two that was going through my head this morning.

(Source: youtube.com)

One of three songs in my head this morning. Swapping back and forth quite rapidly.

(Source: youtube.com)

I’m just liking the size of Shani’s arms. Makes it look like she lifts.

The only two possible reactions when you come across the tiny races in MMOs…

itsawipe:

image

OR

image

This is true.

It’s especially true in games like Guild Wars 2 when you’re the tallest Norn that runs into the shortest Asura.

(via nests-and-orochis)

nprbooks:

torbooks:

On Boing Boing, Cory Doctorow shares why he’s been reading Steven Brust’s Vlad Taltos series for more than 30 years.
"I have been reading the Vlad Taltos books all my life, have literally grown up with them, and eagerly await each new volume, counting the years while Brust finishes it. He claims he knows where it’s all going — has known, in fact, since the first book — and there’s ample evidence for that, because if there’s one word I’d use to describe these, it’d be "premeditated" — in a good way.”

Okay, OKAY, Cory. You got me. I’ve been resisting the pull of yet another epic, sprawling, uncompleted fantasy series … but I guess I better nut up and start reading.
— Petra

nprbooks:

torbooks:

On Boing Boing, Cory Doctorow shares why he’s been reading Steven Brust’s Vlad Taltos series for more than 30 years.

"I have been reading the Vlad Taltos books all my life, have literally grown up with them, and eagerly await each new volume, counting the years while Brust finishes it. He claims he knows where it’s all going — has known, in fact, since the first book — and there’s ample evidence for that, because if there’s one word I’d use to describe these, it’d be "premeditated" — in a good way.”

Okay, OKAY, Cory. You got me. I’ve been resisting the pull of yet another epic, sprawling, uncompleted fantasy series … but I guess I better nut up and start reading.

— Petra

“When people say they have a ‘neutral’ political stance, what that usually means is that they’ve adopted a centrist position within their particular political environment. It’s a kind of local neutrality, perhaps, but not a true global neutrality; a position between two, more extreme camps, not an absense of position. People who believe they have no political ideology are in fact so fully immersed in their ideological environment that they don’t even realise it’s there - the defining features of their political views seem so obvious to them that they assume they are some kind of natural standard. To reiterate: There are no natural standards.”
Game Design Is Always Political I’m Not Even Exaggerating Here | Midnight Resistance (via brutereason)

(via she-hulk-smash)